Thursday, September 5, 2019

Hector's Stuck Shoe

There were 3 kids jovann, jacob and hector they went to the mall it was dark and the moon was up after they went shopping jovann was thinking to play football so hector took off his shoe because he wasn't trying to get them dirty and jovann quickly took it and started throwing it to jacob, hector tried to get his shoe until jovann threw it so high it hit a tree and it got stuck so they all looked at the shoe hector tried to get it out but he couldn't because the shoe was at the top of the tree so jacob found an empty bottle and went to the fountian to put water in it jacob threw the water bottle to the tree but missed, Hector was mad at jovann and jacob then jovann went to the dumpster beside the mall and found tall metal pole so he got it and took it was the trees at jovann started hitting the tree, Hector saw the security coming jovann,jacob and hector ran to the parking lots and hide after the security left,they went back and jovann  started hitting the tree with the pole,jacob was laying down and hector was kicking the tree. The shoe fell off the tree and hector quickly put on his shoe on and they put everything back, and they walked wendy's and waited till their parents to pick them up.

16 comments:

  1. Capitalize the names of the characters.

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  2. its good but capitalize the characters names

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  3. put more periods so the sentences could be understandable.

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  4. it is a great story it's funny

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  5. Use more transition words.

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  6. it is a very funny and clear it was a good story

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  7. wHaT tYpE Of ShoE wAs It

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  8. what mall was you at

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  9. i think you need to fix this essay a bit but other then that i like the story

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  10. You should be a little more clear about your story but other than that it is good

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